


A Heart Shaped Hole

by Aedemiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Homophobic Language, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Resurrection, Spells & Enchantments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-11 17:30:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11719110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aedemiel/pseuds/Aedemiel
Summary: After Chuck and Amara are reconciled, Chuck gives Dean a gift for Sam with unexpected consequences.





	A Heart Shaped Hole

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a while ago and intended to expand it out into a bigger story but it never happened so I decided to post as is.

"Dean, you gave me what I needed most. I want to do the same for you," Amara said, a slight smile on her face. She made a gesture with her hands and Chuck looked at her with a raised eyebrow before returning his gaze to Dean.

"Let's not leave Sam out either," he said, holding out one hand. In his palm appeared a golden walnut.

"What is it?" Dean wondered aloud. Chuck dropped the object into his hand. It was warm and vaguely tingly to the touch.

"Castiel will know what to do," Chuck said cryptically. "Be well, Dean." Dean tucked the strange object into his jacket as Chuck reached out and grasped his sister's hand. Dean gaped as they broke apart into swirls of light and dark smoke and spiraled upwards out of sight. He blinked and the scene in front of him changed to a wooded area, late at night.

"Come on. Where the hell am I?" he complained. Dean held up his phone but he didn't seem to have much of a signal.

"Help!" a woman's voice cried. "Help me!" Startled, Dean tucked his phone away and began following the sounds. When he stepped into the clearing, he almost stopped breathing. There she stood, in the white nightgown he'd seen her in so many times in his nightmares.

"Mom?" he said, astonished.

* * *

 

Dean sighed heavily, the large meal making him slightly sleepy and the pleasure of having his family around him giving him a sense of contentment he hadn't felt in… years. Cas appeared in the door and he smiled at him. All was good. The sight of the angel made something tickle at the back of his mind. Something he was supposed to do… It came to him suddenly.

"Hey, Sam, I almost forgot. Uh, Chuck gave me this, for you." He pulled the small object out of his jacket and handed it over. They were all startled by Cas's loud intake of breath.

"What is it?" Sam asked, his voice strangely awed. "It feels…" He broke off and shook his head, unable to explain the sensation he'd felt as soon as the golden walnut had touched his hand.

Mary frowned and leaned over to look at it although she avoided touching it. "Odd," she commented.

"Chuck said Cas would know what to do with it," Dean said, looking at the angel expectantly. The look of reverent astonishment on Cas's face was almost comical. "Come on, man," Dean prompted. "What is it?"

"I- An impossibility," Cas said. "Sam, can I see it?"

"Sure," Sam said easily. But when he came to hand it over, he felt a strange reluctance wash over him and his fingers closed involuntarily when Cas tried to take the object from his grasp.

"Sorry," he said. With some effort of will he peeled his fingers open again and Cas took the walnut and peered at it. After a moment's inspection, he whispered to it, in what Sam assumed was Enochian. Then he handed it back once he was satisfied.

"So?" Dean said, giving Cas an expectant look. The angel looked rather perturbed and if Cas was disturbed by it, Dean trusted his instincts. But why would Chuck give him something for Sam that would make Cas so unhappy?

"This," Cas said, pointing to the walnut, "is a cocoon."

"A cocoon?" Sam said, puzzled. "Like for a butterfly?"

"Not quite," Cas said. "It's an angel cocoon. This is how we are… for want of a better word, born."

"There's a baby angel in here?" Sam gasped.

Cas swallowed and looked even more uncomfortable. "Perhaps." He was being cryptic and in Dean's experience, cryptic was bad.

"You don't seem sure," Dean said. "Or happy. Surely Chuck wouldn't give Sam something he wouldn't want?"

"Gifts from my father can be… unpredictable," Cas said sourly. He really did not look happy. He swayed slightly on his feet and Dean jumped up in alarm.

"Cas?"

The angel made a quelling gesture. "I'm OK. It's just… a shock." Dean grabbed his arm and tried to catch the angel's gaze but Cas refused to look at him.

"What is?" Dean demanded. "Cas, you're freaking us out here."

"I'm probably mistaken." Cas deflected. "And it's too late, it's already beginning to wake up."

He was right. The golden walnut that Cas had described as a cocoon was giving off a faint golden light.

"So, what do we do?" Sam asked. He had been watching the interplay between Dean and Cas and the angel's alarm was infectious.

Cas gave him a look that was both stern and troubled. "Are you willing to perform the ritual of birth?" Cas asked.

Sam blinked, feeling mildly terrified. "That depends what's involved," he hedged.

"It is not difficult, although it may be physically demanding," Cas told him. "You must sit with the cocoon while it matures. You may not leave it alone for more than an hour at a time. Preferably not even that."

"How long does it take?"

"A few days," Cas said.

"I don't think I'm capable of staying awake that long after everything," Sam confessed.

Cas shook his head. "You don't need to stay awake. Just be in the same room and perform the tasks I set for you. There'll be ample opportunity for sleep."

"Why does it have to be me?" Sam asked. "I'm not saying no, but…"

"It doesn't have to be you. I can do it," Cas said. "But, my father specifically sent this cocoon to you. He must think you would want to be the one to do this. And it activated at your touch."

"OK," Sam agreed, although he seemed reluctant. "I'll do it. Tell me what I need to do."

"There are four incantations," Cas explained. "One for the sunrise and sunset of each day."

"Fine," Sam said. "When do we do the first one? It's well after sunset now."

"We'll start at sunrise," Cas decided. "Take the cocoon to your room tonight and keep it close by."

"All right," Sam agreed. He looked at the cocoon, and a serene expression settled over his face. Dean's eyes widened in alarm. "Good night, all." He got up and left the room, leaving a half drunk bottle of beer on the table.

"Cas, are you sure this is a good idea?" Dean asked as soon as Sam had left the room.

"No," the angel said laconically. "But it's out of our hands. As soon as Sam touched the cocoon it started changing. If we don't do the birthing ritual now, it won't stop the cocoon developing but the angel inside will die."

"I'm just not sure I want any more of your siblings around," Dean said. Cas flinched and Mary laid a hand on her son's arm.

"Dean," she said reproachfully.

"I'm sorry, but Cas is the only one who isn't a complete dick," Dean defended. Cas's face was truly miserable now and Dean did feel like an asshole. But he wasn't going to take it back. He wondered vaguely why Chuck would think a newborn angel would be a good gift for Sam.

* * *

 

Mary pinched the bridge of her nose, unaware of how like her son she looked in that moment. John's journal was by turns heartbreaking, enraging and terrifying. She mourned the way his obsession with finding her killer had turned a good and loving father into something hard and cold. The man who'd written this journal was almost unrecognizable as the sweet, sensitive man she'd married.

"Are you having trouble sleeping?" Cas said suddenly and she jumped in surprise. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."

"No, it's OK. But you move quietly. Yeah, sleep's not on the cards tonight. Too much to process I guess. How about you?" She closed John's journal and looked up at the angel.

"I don't need to sleep," Cas reminded her. She gave him a sheepish grin, he had told her that before.

"So, Castiel," she said, deciding that demanding a straight answer might be the best approach. "What is it you're not telling us about the cocoon?"

"Nothing," Cas said, but he wouldn't meet her gaze.

"Bullshit," she said succinctly. "You might be able to pull the wool over Dean's eyes but I'm onto you."

Cas backed away nervously. "I don't know what you mean."

"You know something about the angel in that cocoon," Mary asserted. "I saw the look on your face when you were examining it."

"I'm not certain," Cas said. "I'd really rather not say it, in case I'm wrong."

"Why?"

"Because if I tell Sam who I think it is, and I'm mistaken, I think he'd be disappointed."

"I don't understand," Mary said. "You said this is how angels are born? How can you know who it is if they haven't been born yet?"

Cas shook his head. "I think my father may have brought back an angel that was killed. One

Sam and Dean knew, long ago."

"Really?" Mary said. "Don't you think that's strange?"

Cas's face went utterly blank. "It's not for me to second-guess-"

"I need to know if my boys are in danger, Castiel." Her entire body radiated with her desire to protect her sons.

The blank look vanished, to be replaced with one that was a curious mixture of gratitude and apprehension. "They're not in danger."

"But you won't say who's in there?" Mary said in frustration. "You make it very difficult to trust you, Castiel."

"It really is for the best," Cas said lamely.

* * *

 

A light tap on his door had Sam rolling to his feet, gun in his hand. No matter how long they'd lived at the bunker, years of old habits were hard to break.

"Sam?" Cas's voice floated through the door. "Sunrise is in fifteen minutes. We need to go over the first incantation."

"OK," Sam called back. "Gimme a minute." He felt a heady sense of anticipation, and he found himself reaching out and touching the cocoon before pulling on a pair of jeans. Once he'd yanked a t-shirt over his head, he grabbed the cocoon from the nightstand and opened the door. Cas nodded at him and then turned and headed down the corridor.

"Where are we going?" Sam asked blearily. The cocoon pulsed gently in his hand and it made something inside him quiver.

"The basement." Cas said shortly, his strides so long Sam was struggling to keep up. Why was he in such a hurry? They had plenty of time.

"What? Why?" Sam began to feel a little alarmed. Was this going to be dangerous? He was no stranger to danger, but really he could do with a break for a day or two.

"That cocoon is going to get a lot bigger," Cas said dryly. "We're going to need a lot of space."

Once in one of the emptier basement rooms, Cas dragged a couch and a table from one of the storage areas, and then laid a mattress on the bare floor. He proceeded to make it up like a bed, with sheets, pillows and a plush comforter that Sam recognized as his.

"Place the cocoon here," he instructed. Sam complied and looked at the angel for the next instruction. "You'll need to stay close to the cocoon at all times. In contact with it if possible." Cas said. "Or, within arm's reach at least."

Sam eyed the makeshift bed in concern. "I have to sleep with it?"

"Yes," Cas said, sounding impatient. He handed Sam a piece of paper with a few words in Enochian written on it. The angel had written a phonetic pronunciation guide underneath. Sam quirked a grateful smile at him.

"When I tell you to, read it out loud," Cas told him.

"Can I practice first?" Sam asked. Cas shook his head. "OK. But I'm gonna mess up."

"No, Sam," Cas said confidently. "You won't."

Sam read over the words, sounding the strange syllables out in his head. He didn't want to get this wrong, no matter what Cas said. There was a strange sense of expectation laying over him, like a soft, suffocating blanket. It was a peculiar sensation.

"Now, Sam!" Cas hissed.

He read the incantation, slowly and carefully, sounding out the sounds and was surprised at how easily it all flowed off his tongue. When he was finished he looked at Cas in astonishment.

"That was… not as hard as I thought it would be," he admitted.

"You've been possessed by two angels," Cas reminded him. "Some memory of Enochian, however faint, will remain."

"Oh," Sam said, disappointed that his facility with the language wasn't some natural talent. But Cas was giving him a weird look and it was making him uncomfortable. "Is everything OK?"

"Yes. Look." Cas said, pointing. The cocoon had started glowing quite brightly and then suddenly, with a loud popping sound it was no longer the size of a walnut but had grown to the size of a basketball."

"Wow," Sam said. "So what happens now?"

"You will have to stay here," Cas said. "I will bring you whatever you need. The cocoon will let you know what it needs."

"What?"

"You'll know," Cas said. Sam looked at the cocoon and was overwhelmed by the need to touch it. He looked at Cas questioningly and the angel nodded. Overawed, he sat on the mattressand laid one hand on the cocoon, stroking it gently. Peace descended on him and he felt himself smile.

"As you see, it is capable of making its needs known," Cas said. The angel looked even more troubled than he had the night before, but Sam's curiosity and any concern he might ordinarily have felt were strangely muted.

"I'll return soon with some breakfast," Cas said. Sam nodded happily, and stretched out on the floor, stroking the cocoon and humming to it gently.

* * *

 

When Cas entered the kitchen it was to see Dean cooking bacon with a slight smile on his face. The sight gave the angel a warm feeling in his chest. Mary was pouring coffee into a mug and sighing.

"Castiel," she greeted him. "Coffee?" He shook his head. "Is Sam up?"

"We've been up since before sunrise," Cas told her.

"Oh, that's right," she remembered. "You said Sam had to say some incantations at sunrise and sunset. How did it go?"

"Perfectly," the angel said unhappily. Dean turned his head and frowned at him.

"So why do you look like your dog just died?"

Cas looked puzzled. "I don't have-"

Dean waved him off. "Cas," he said warningly.

"Everything appears to be proceeding as expected," Cas said. "The cocoon responded well to Sam."

"So what's the problem?" Dean pressed. Cas wished fervently that the hunter had not chosen to be so observant today.

"There's no problem," he denied. "I'm just apprehensive about the process. There's a lot that can go wrong."

Dean stared at him, an uncomfortable feeling in the back of his throat. Cas was lying to him, to his face. He couldn't understand why. His mom was glaring at the angel, clearly she wasn't fooled either.

"Where is he?" Dean said, abandoning his breakfast and grabbing Cas by the arm. Mary stood up and took over at the stove.

"In the basement." Cas said, blinking in surprise at Dean's aggression. "I said I'd bring him something to eat."

"I'll do it," Dean said. He poured coffee into a mug, grabbed fruit and yogurt out of the fridge and strode out of the room.

* * *

 

Whatever Dean had expected, it was not this. Sam was laid out on his back, lying on a makeshift bed in the middle of the floor. He was reading something on his phone and one hand was idly stroking a golden basketball.

"Is that the cocoon?" Dean asked as he entered the room. Not only was it much bigger than before, but the golden light was brighter too.

"Yeah," Sam said, his voice soft and reverent. His face was serene, and Dean shouldn't have been so weirded out by that, but it wasn't exactly a common sensation for either of them.

"It… grew?" he asked stupidly. Of course it had grown, what else could be going on here?

"I guess," Sam agreed. Dean placed the food and coffee on the small table and pulled it over to be within Sam's reach.

"So, uh, what does it feel like?" he asked. Sam put down his phone and reached for the coffee. He seemed reluctant to let go of the cocoon.

"Warm. Soft, like... expensive cotton sheets. It vibrates sometimes, like a kitten's purr." Sam sipped the coffee and replaced it on the table, never taking his eyes off the golden ball.

"And you have to keep touching it?" Dean asked, curious and concerned at the same time.

"It wants me to," Sam explained, in a tone of voice that suggested Dean should have guessed this.

"Does it talk?" Dean said in surprise.

Sam shook his head. "No. It just… I can feel what it wants. And right now, it wants me to touch it."

"Creepy," Dean commented. And it was. He didn't like this one bit, and he was going to have to have a very stern conversation with Cas about what he'd gotten Sam into. Except of course, he'd given the damn thing to Sam, not Cas. So this was at least partially his fault.

"No," Sam said, his voice dreamy. "It's amazing."

"Hmm. Do you need anything?" Sam looked up at him and Dean noticed his pupils were blown wide. His brother looked like he'd been drugged and his sense of wrongness increased. "Are you feeling OK?"

"God, yes," Sam breathed. "I haven't felt this good in… I don't know if I've ever felt this good."

"Awesome," Dean said. It was not awesome. It was fucking terrifying and Cas was going to give him some answers if he had to shake them out of him. "Well, I guess I'll leave you to it."

Sam's attention had returned to the cocoon and he didn't reply.

* * *

 

When Dean got back to the kitchen, Mary and Cas were standing glaring at each other. He was fairly certain he'd interrupted an argument and it wouldn't take a genius to figure out what it was about.

"Uh, everything OK?" he asked tentatively, even though the answer was clear.

"Yes," Cas said, in a tone of voice that suggested he really didn't want Dean to interfere.

"No," Mary snapped, her hands on her hips and her eyes flashing. "I want to know what's going on."

"What do you mean?" Dean asked. Again with the obvious questions, but if he could distract his mom long enough, maybe she wouldn't shoot Cas in a fit of pique, which seemed entirely within the realm of possibility right now.

"This cocoon," Mary said. "Castiel won't give me a straight answer."

"And it's got Sammy tripping balls," Dean added. That just made Mary stand up straighter and he wished he'd kept it to himself. "Cas, do you know something about this?"

"Sam is in no danger," Cas assured them. "The birthing process can be hard work. So, the cocoon makes sure that its nurturer is happy, so that they won't leave when things get more strenuous."

"Explain hard work," Dean insisted. "You said before it wasn't difficult."

"It's not…" Cas raked a hand through his hair in frustration. "It's not easy to explain."

"Try," Mary suggested in a hard voice.

"Angel's don't go through a juvenile stage," Cas said. "We're born fully formed, with the knowledge we need to function in our roles. It's one of the reasons free will is harder for angels than humans, we don't experience learning or failure. We already know everything we need to know by the time we emerge from the cocoon.

"In order for the angel to gain that knowledge, it is passed from angel to angel through this nurturing process. The cocoon forms a telepathic link with the nurturer, absorbing information through a kind of mental transfer. The early stages are easy, just basic transfers of information. Later, the cocoon will demand more complicated things, the understanding of the universe and the heavens, that kind of thing. Lastly, when the cocoon is ready to open, the nurturer must be ready to infuse the angel with their Grace."

Dean blinked. "That's your definition of not difficult? It sounds unbelievably complicated. And how the Hell is Sam going to infuse an angel with Grace when he's a human?"

Cas shook his head, clearly feeling he wasn't explaining it well. "The Grace is there, in the cocoon, but separate. Think of the yolk in an egg. The nurturer guides the angel to meld with it. It's not that complicated, but normally the nurturer is another angel. For Sam, it will be physically and mentally demanding." 

"If angels normally gain knowledge through this telepathic link, what will it mean if a human is the nurturer?" Mary asked. There was a look in her eyes that Dean couldn't interpret, like she already had some clue to the answer.

"In normal cases, it wouldn't be a very good idea," Cas said. "Humans don't usually hold the knowledge necessary to angelic development."

"So what's different this time?" Dean asked sharply.

"This angel might not be… new." Cas replied. He eyed Dean warily.  _Dammit, Cas,_  Dean thought.  _Why didn't you explain this before Sam got all tangled up in this?_

"Are you saying this cocoon contains a resurrected angel?" Dean snapped.

Cas gulped audibly. "Yes."

"Who is it?"

"I don't know," Cas said, looking away.

"I don't believe this," Dean said. "I don't believe you." And he didn't. His chest hurt with the sense of betrayal. Cas lying to him like this… He thought they were past all that.

Cas slumped down into a chair and looked at Dean mournfully. "It's really better this way."

"That's crap, Cas and you know it," Dean said. "Why didn't you warn us about what Sam was getting himself into? You asked if he wanted to do this without telling him what it meant!"

"I'm sorry, Dean." Cas said miserably. "I really am. But I had no choice. The cocoon had already started to awaken, to bind Sam as its nurturer. To take that away would likely have killed it."

"But you said you could take over the nurturing," Mary objected. "Or did you lie about that too?"

Cas didn't reply, he just hung his head. Dean punched a fist into the wall and swore.

* * *

 

Since Cas refused to be any more forthcoming, Dean had retreated to the library in search of a case, or a distraction or something. He was so angry with the angel, it made his head hurt. He didn't want to be mad at Cas, but putting Sam's life on the line like this? Forgiving him was going to take time. And that's if Sam came out relatively unscathed. If he got hurt… Dean didn't want to think about what he would do in that case.

Mary had joined him and was looking through the newspapers Dean had brought her yesterday, since she still wasn't comfortable with computers yet. They sat together in companionable silence, only the rustling of pages and his occasional taps on the keyboard breaking the quiet.

"Dean?" she said suddenly, and he raised his head.

"What's up?"

"Do you trust Castiel?" she said. Her eyes were shadowed with concern.

"With my life," Dean said without hesitation. And he realized that even though he was still angry, he'd already forgiven the angel. The suddenness was somewhat surprising.

"But he's being so cagey about this cocoon," Mary objected.

"Thing you have to understand about Cas is, he always does what he thinks is right. If he's keeping a secret, I hate to admit it, but he's probably got a good reason. I trust him more than anyone else I know, except maybe Sam." Dean said.

"But you're angry with him all the same," Mary observed.

"I didn't say I had to like it," Dean retorted. "I just hate being kept in the dark, that's all. Especially when it comes to my brother."

Mary nodded, and shoved the newspapers aside. "Any of these books about angels?" she asked, waving a hand at the shelves.

"Probably," Dean said. "Sam would know. There's an index card catalog, but I'm too lazy to learn how to use it."

"How is it organized?"

"Hell if I know." Dean laughed. "Like I say, Sam's the bookworm, not me. The catalog's at the back there."

Mary nodded and disappeared in the direction he'd indicated. She emerged a few minutes later with a card in hand and began scanning the shelves.

"Find what you want?" Dean asked.

She waved the card at him. "Dewey Decimal System," she announced. He frowned in puzzlement. "It's a method of library classification."

"Huh." It seemed Sam had come by his bookish ways honestly. He smiled to himself as he watched her browsing the shelves. She found the book she was looking for and returned to her seat. Dean contemplated her as she read for a while and then returned to his computer.

* * *

"Sam?" Cas said, shaking the younger Winchester's shoulder. Sam blinked open sleepy eyes to see the angel leaning over him.

"Hey, Cas. What's up?" He yawned and pushed the comforter off his body. Cas noticed that even though it had only been twelve hours, Sam had lost at least ten pounds. He bit his lip. Such weight loss was unexpected and so rapid it could be dangerous to Sam's health. But there was nothing he could do about it now. If he tried to interrupt the ritual, break the bond between Sam and the cocoon, the resulting backlash could kill them all. And any number of innocent humans in a fifty mile radius.

"Sunset is in ten minutes," Cas informed him, keeping his fears to himself.

Sam realized he had curled around the cocoon protectively. It seemed to pulse at him, like it knew what was coming. He crooned to it soothingly.

"Here is the incantation," Cas said, handing over a piece of paper. Sam squinted at it. This was a little longer than the one from the morning.

"OK," he said. "Will it grow again like it did this morning?"

"It should," Cas said. "There may be other changes as well."

"Like what?"

"I don't know," Cas admitted. "I've never done this with an-"

"With a what?" Sam said, his attention sharpening.

"It's not important," Cas dismissed. "It's nearly time." Sam took a deep breath, trying to center himself. "Now, Sam."

He intoned the incantation on the sheet in front of him, feeling the words resonate as he spoke. The cocoon quivered under his hand as the last syllables fell from his mouth and then, just as it had done that morning, it was just suddenly bigger. Now about the size of a large boulder, it was perhaps three feet in diameter and the surface wrinkles now revealed themselves to be Enochian sigils carved into whatever this cocoon was made from. Sam could hear a faint, silvery sound coming from the cocoon and he gasped in delight.

"It's singing," he exclaimed.

"Only to you," Cas said.

Sam turned astonished eyes on the angel. "You seriously can't hear that?"

"No. The song is only for you." Cas peered at him. "How do you feel?"

"Tired," Sam admitted. "I feel like I do at the end of a long and difficult hunt, or after a really big fight. I'm starving but too tired to move."

"I'll bring you something to eat," Cas told him. "Do you need anything else?"

Sam shook his head. The cocoon made some more sounds and he turned to it, stroking his hands over the surface. Cas watched the scene for a moment and then left.

* * *

 

In the kitchen, Dean was standing in front of the fridge with a frown on his face. He pulled out a container of Chinese food and opened it, before quickly disposing of it in the trash with a disgusted sound.

"Sam needs food," Cas said without preamble.

"We'll have to go out," Dean said, sighing. "There's nothing in the fridge but beer and old takeout."

"I should at least take him a snack," the angel replied. Dean grabbed an apple from a bowl on the counter and tossed it to Cas who caught it easily.

"Best I can do for now," he said. The angel nodded and disappeared. When he returned a few minutes later, he looked concerned.

"Everything OK?" Dean asked, trying not to sound too worried.

"Sam is exhausted," Cas admitted. "I should never have allowed him to do this."

"Hey, Chuck made it pretty clear this was for Sam," Dean reminded him. "You think Sam would have let you muscle him out of the way? And didn't you pretty much imply you couldn't have done it once the damn thing activated anyway?"

Cas shook his head. "No. But we need to find him some proper sustenance. He's burning through a tremendous amount of energy right now."

"OK," Dean said. "Let's go."

* * *

 

Mary tiptoed carefully down the stairs to the basement. Dean hadn't explicitly said she wasn't allowed down here, but something in the atmosphere had made her unwilling to go exploring. But Sam was down here and she wanted to see that he was OK.

She found him sitting, leaning against a giant golden globe, his ear pressed against it. "Is that the cocoon?" she gasped.

Sam gave her a slightly crooked smile. "Yeah. It's grown a bit since you last saw it."

She studied it and the way her younger son was touching it. "How are you feeling? Cas said you were worn out."

"I am tired," Sam agreed. "It's OK." He closed his eyes for a moment and Mary was struck by the impression that he was listening.

"Is it speaking to you?" she asked, discomfort worming it's way through her gut.

"Not… speaking. Uh, more like an emotional communication," Sam said. "I get a general sense of needs and sensations." He began stroking the globe in a specific pattern, tracing some of the carvings on the outside.

"I see," Mary said, who didn't. This was all extremely weird. "Do you know how much longer this will go on?"

"One more sunrise and sunset," Sam said. He sounded almost regretful and Mary wasn't keen on that at all. What on earth had that angel gotten Sam into?

"Good," Mary said. She stepped closer and Sam's held out a hand.

"No!" he said firmly. "Stay back."

"I was only going to…"

"I'm sorry, Mom. But… it doesn't want you to come near it or touch it. It's nothing personal." Sam said.

"OK," she said. "OK." She studied him for a moment, there were dark circles under his eyes and

his face was pale. "You don't look good."

"I'm just tired," Sam said. "And hungry."

"Dean and Castiel will be back soon," she promised. "Can I get you something to drink?"

Sam smiled at her. "Just some water," he said. She nodded and headed back upstairs.

* * *

 

"OK, that should see us for a few days," Dean said, loading the last of the groceries into the car. He climbed in and started the engine, and finally Cas opened the door and sat in the passenger seat.

"I wish you'd tell me what's going on," he said softly. Cas flinched. "I trust you," Dean continued. "I do. But… you know how I feel about secrets."

"I'm sorry," Cas said miserably.

"It's OK," Dean said tiredly. "You're only doing what you think is best. And it's only another day and then I guess the cat will be out of the bag. Just promise me it's not Michael hiding out in there."

"Michael's still alive," Cas pointed out. "In the cage."

"Yeah, OK. I'm just spitballing here."

"Patience was never one of your virtues," Cas observed sagely and Dean barked out a laugh.

"OK, OK. Let's go home."

"Home," Cas agreed. He'd never admit it, but it gave him a secret thrill every time he said it.

* * *

 

The next morning, Cas found Sam leaning up against the cocoon and whispering to it. This was not unexpected but it was a little disconcerting.

"Good morning, Sam," he said. The hunter ignored him. He repeated himself in Enochian.

"Good morning," Sam responded in the same. He probably hadn't even noticed, Cas thought. He handed over the next incantation silently. Sam scanned it once, and nodded, before returning his attention to the orb.

"Did you get any sleep?" Cas asked.

"Some," Sam said. "It's not real comfortable in here."

"Tonight you can sleep in your own bed," Cas promised. An emotion flickered across Sam's face, but it was too fast for Cas to see what it was. And then his face went curiously, almost angelically blank.

"It's almost time," Cas said.

"I know," Sam replied. "I can feel it." Cas nodded, he was getting that information from the cocoon, no doubt. Once again he wondered about the wisdom of allowing Sam to do this, but what was done was done and surely his father wouldn't have suggested it if it was unsafe.

He felt the sunrise begin through a thrumming in his wing feathers and before he could even open his mouth, Sam began to recite the incantation. This time the globe seemed to vibrate, and then Sam was knocked to the floor by a kind of shockwave. Cas felt it thump hard in his chest. He suspected it set off seismic monitors for hundreds of miles around.

The orb was now about six feet across. Sam stood slowly and began to trace each of the carvings, muttering under his breath. He was weak, and his movements were labored.

"I'll get you some breakfast," the angel said. Sam didn't respond.

* * *

 

By the time the evening rolled around, both Dean and Mary had followed Cas down to the basement. Dean had made a shocked sound at Sam's condition. His brother's cheeks were kind of hollowed out and although it should not have been possible in just two days, Dean was certain he'd lost a considerable amount of weight. He was sat with back to the orb, his breathing labored and wheezing.

"Sammy!" Dean gasped.

Sam's eyelids flickered. "It's almost time," he said softly.

"Yes," Cas said. "Here is the final incantation. Once it's complete, try and speak to the angel inside through your telepathic link as the cocoon opens. Guide him to the Grace core in the cocoon. The angel inside will take over from there."

"OK," Sam said. He struggled to his feet and waved off Cas and Dean's offers of help. He closed his eyes and swayed. Then he opened them again and Dean and Mary gasped as his eyes blazed a brilliant blue.

In a strange, deep tone unlike his normal voice he recited the final incantation. There was a sort of bell-like sound from inside the cocoon and Sam began muttering rapidly but too quietly to hear. Cracks appeared all over the orb and bright white light shone from each one.

"Cover your eyes!" Cas yelled. Dean and Mary threw their arms over their faces. Sam had ignored him and so in desperation, Cas clapped his own hands over Sam's eyes. There was a strange high-pitched sound that dropped precipitously in tone to the point Dean could only feel it not hear it. And then the light faded and Dean carefully dropped his arm and opened his eyes.

The cocoon had completely burst open. Shards of what looked like golden glass lay all over the floor and in the middle lay a naked body. Sam collapsed to his knees, and then crawled towards the still unmoving form of the angel. Dean couldn't see the angel's head as it was blocked by Sam. He watched as Sam painfully made his way over to the newborn angel and heard his sharp intake of breath.

"Oh my God," Sam breathed. "Gabriel." And then he slid gracefully to the floor in a dead faint.

Dean stood there, frozen. Mary looked between Cas and her oldest son in alarm.

"Gabriel, as in the archangel Gabriel?" she asked.

"Yes," Cas said.

"And this was the secret you were keeping?" she pressed. He nodded. "OK… Why?"

"Gabriel was masquerading as a trickster god when Sam and Dean first met him," Cas

explained. "He'd been missing from Heaven for a long time. But when Lucifer trapped them in a hotel, he confronted his brother and gave Dean and Sam time to escape. It cost him his life."

"Oh," Mary said doubtfully. "I don't understand. Why would God bring him back now?"

"That's what I want to know," Dean growled. He had finally started moving and went over to Sam, checking his pulse and temperature. "Cas, can we move him?"

"We should move both of them," the angel agreed. "I can carry Sam if you will bring Gabriel."

"He's naked," Dean objected.

Cas looked at him, baffled. "And…"

"And I'm not picking him up when he's nude, OK?"

Cas sighed and then began to strip off his trenchcoat. Dean's eyes widened and Mary frowned at her son's reaction. The angel wrapped Gabriel carefully in his coat, picked him up and almost shoved him at Dean. The hunter accepted the strange parcel and looked down at the serenely unconscious archangel. Then Cas lifted Sam onto his shoulder.

"Where are we going," Dean said, grunting. Gabriel was heavier than he looked.

"Sam's room," Cas said shortly and began striding off towards the stairs.

"What, Gabriel as well?" Dean yelped.

"The telepathic link is still in place," Cas explained. "Gabriel will undo it once he awakens. But until he does, they cannot be separated."

Dean huffed and frowned at that. He had a bad feeling about this whole thing. Once they'd reached Sam's room, Dean dumped Gabriel onto Sam's bed. Cas laid Sam down next to the archangel.

"They have to share a bed?" Dean said sharply.

"It seems most practical," Cas said. "This way they can be in physical contact."

"Oh, no," Dean said, grabbing Cas's arm. "I'm not having Sam get molested by your asshole of a brother."

"It's necessary," Cas said tightly. "Gabriel will not do anything inappropriate."

"What, for the first time in his entire existence?" Dean snapped. Cas gave him a disapproving look.

"I'll vouch for him," Cas said icily. They stared at each other for a few moments until finally Dean backed down.

"All right," he replied. "I'll go get Gabriel some clothes. He can't stay wrapped up in your coat."

He left the room and returned a few minutes later with an unopened package of boxer shorts and a t-shirt.

"I didn't think he'd want to wear something I'd already worn," he said by way of explanation. Cas nodded and opened the trenchcoat. "OK, I'll uh, leave you to it," Dean said, and fled.

Cas's mouth thinned in irritation and then he returned to his task. He managed to manhandle his brother into the t-shirt and a pair of the shorts. He then removed Sam's jeans and gave thanks that Dean had left. Cas was only undressing the hunter so that Sam would be comfortable, but no doubt Dean would have made a fuss about that too.

As soon as Cas finished, Sam rolled over onto his side and tucked Gabriel in front of him. Cas looked down at them spooned up together. No, it was definitely better that Dean was no longer here.

* * *

 

Gabriel felt awareness begin to slowly creep through him. He felt strange and his memory seemed kind of fuzzy. He was aware of another body pressed against his back. That body was warm, and by the regular sounds and movements, it was a human. He shifted slightly and then froze. A male human. It wasn't that he had anything against sleeping with men, but for various complex reasons he had refused to examine, he'd not done so in quite a long time. Gabriel had never been an angel much given to introspection. But he felt very odd indeed and the sex of the human he was sharing a bed with really was the least peculiar part of the mystery.

Typically, he almost never slept with his bed partners at all. He didn't actually need to sleep, but he enjoyed it from time to time. But always alone. So this in itself was odd. And then there was the rather utilitarian shirt and shorts he was wearing. Not really his style. He carefully opened his eyes and frowned. The room was dark but his celestial eyesight could still see clearly. He just didn't recognize anything he could see. And yet this was not a motel room or other anonymous location. This was clearly a room that belonged to somebody. The personal effects scattered about, the strangely mismatched furniture and the smell of a room that was lived in all suggested that. He inhaled and memory sparked, too elusive and fleeting to catch.

The man curled up behind him muttered in his sleep and then Gabriel became aware of the telepathic link that extended to this man and alarm bells began to ring in his head. Since he wasn't awake he couldn't read anything coherent. What the Hell was going on? He shifted and the man's arm tightened.

The door cracked open and Gabriel found himself staring into the blue eyes of Castiel. His mouth dropped open in surprise.

"You're awake," his brother rumbled. Gabriel felt the man shift and his hand moved to rest on Gabriel's hip.

"Hey, Cas," a familiar voice said. Gabriel felt dizzy. Slowly, carefully he turned to look up into Sam Winchester's face who was staring down at him in shock. He carefully edged away from Gabriel until they were no longer touching.

"Gabriel," Cas said. "How are you feeling?"

"Confused," the archangel confessed. "What's going on?"

"That's a long story," Sam said with a pained smile.

"And why are we telepathically linked?" Gabriel added. As soon as he said that, he was flooded with a flurry of images and thoughts and emotions. It didn't make much sense. But one thing was clear.

"I was dead," he said.

"Yes," Cas agreed. "Until our father decided to bring you back."

"Dad? Really? OK," Gabriel said. "But that still doesn't explain Sam here."

"Sam served as your nurturer in the cocoon," Cas told him. Gabriel started and shoved himself away from Sam, tumbling out of bed into a pile on the floor. His eyes were wild and Sam could feel waves of panic and horror coming from their link.

"Gabriel?" he said carefully. "It's OK. You're OK. You're freaking out a bit there." He climbed off the bed and sat on the floor next to the shaking archangel.

"Sam… You shouldn't have done that," Gabriel said unsteadily. He looked into Sam's eyes, searching them for something. Sam wondered what he was looking for, but whatever it was and whether he found it or not, Gabriel did start to relax.

"I should detach the link," he said. Sam nodded reluctantly. He couldn't explain it, but he really didn't want to lose this amazing connection to the archangel. Gabriel grabbed his face in both hands and stared directly into Sam's eyes. Sam felt a bizarre falling sensation, like he was tumbling down an impossibly deep hole and then a sudden sharp dislocation and Gabriel let go.

Sam was bereft. The loss of the telepathic link to Gabriel left him feeling like he'd lost something incredible. Gabriel reached out and wiped a tear from his cheek. He hadn't even noticed he was crying.

"Sam," the archangel said softly. "I'm sorry. I should have warned you that would be painful. But what were you thinking? Why would you take on the task of nurturing me through my resurrection?"

"Chuck," Sam said, laughing through his tears. Gabriel looked puzzled. "God, Gabriel."

"Dad did this?" Gabriel said wonderingly. "I mean, why did he involve you?"

"We don't know," Cas said. "He said it was a gift."

"A gift," Gabriel said, feeling faint. "To whom?"

"Me," Sam said. He shrugged, his face bemused. "I don't know what he was thinking but there it is." Gabriel had been inching further and further away from Sam and the hunter gave him a crooked smile. "I'm sorry, Gabriel. This has all come as a bit of a shock."

"That doesn't even begin to cover it," the archangel said ruefully. But he still looked wary.

"How do you feel?" Cas asked.

"Like myself," Gabriel said, tilting his head to one side. "Mostly. My Grace seems very low but that's not a surprise."

"Will it recharge naturally?" Sam asked.

Gabriel gave him a strange look. "I'm not a battery, Sam. But yes, in time I should be back to full strength." He frowned unhappily. "But for now I'm grounded. Literally." He struggled to his feet and when Sam offered a hand to help him he backed away. Sam tried not to take it personally.

"I'm gonna need a ride," Gabriel said to Cas, who looked confused.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

Gabriel scratched his head. "I don't know. Somewhere I can rest until my Grace is up to more than party tricks."

"You can stay here," Sam said.

"Sam, I don't even know where here is," Gabriel said, the wariness back in his tone.

"This is an old Men of Letters bunker," Sam explained. "Dean and I are legacies, apparently. We live here now, when we're not on the road."

"It's probably not a good idea," Gabriel said. Sam took a deep breath. He would never have admitted it, but he missed the old Gabriel. This one was way too serious and… Sam wanted to slap himself upside the head. That's what he'd been missing. He'd never really seen Gabriel as an angel, even after finding out who he was because he never behaved like one. Until now.

"It's your choice," Sam said finally. "But the offer is open. This place is as secure as anywhere on earth. I don't mean to imply that you're in any danger but if your Grace is low…" He trailed off.

Gabriel grimaced, like he was in pain. "Sam, it's a thoughtful offer. But… we weren't friends before I died. So why would you do something like that? Why would you do any of this?"

"First of all," Sam said, an edge creeping into his tone. "We might not have been friends, but we were allies. That counts for something. Maybe we could have been friends if Lucifer hadn't…" He took a shuddering breath, the sense of loss making his throat hurt. It was odd, he'd not mourned Gabriel's death excessively when it had happened but now the memory was unbelievably painful.

"Maybe," Gabriel allowed doubtfully.

"And secondly, even if we could never have been friends, what kind of asshole would throw you out on the streets in this condition?" Sam said pugnaciously.

"Dean is on board with this?" Gabriel deflected.

"I haven't asked him," Sam admitted. "But if Cas and I both want you to stay," he paused and Cas nodded enthusiastically. "Then Dean can suck it up."

Gabriel stared at him for so long, Sam began to wonder if he had zoned out. He opened his mouth to say something but Gabriel shook his head.

"OK. It's… a kind offer, Sam. But only until I'm fully recovered. I won't trespass on your hospitality beyond that."

Sam shrugged, pretending not to be bothered by this proviso. Gabriel's shoulders drooped and he yawned.

"You're tired," Cas said. "You should try to sleep again."

"Maybe you're right," Gabriel agreed. He looked around and his face went still. "Is this your room, Sam?"

"Yes," Sam admitted.

"You both had to be in the same room while the telepathic link was in place," Cas pointed out.

Gabriel scrubbed a hand over his face and nodded. "Of course. Uh, how big is this place? Is there a spare room I can take over for a while?"

Sam swallowed, strangely hurt that the archangel wanted his own room, even though this was a perfectly reasonable request and why the Hell would he want Gabriel to stay with him anyway? He tried to meet Gabriel's gaze, but the archangel kept looking away.

"Yeah, sure," he said as neutrally as he could. He grabbed his jeans from the back of the chair in the corner of the room and pulled them on roughly. "Follow me," he said.

He led Gabriel down the hall to a room that Charlie had used on occasion when she visited. Feeling a momentary pang of her loss, Sam opened the door and ushered Gabriel inside.

"There's some old sweatpants in the closet if you want them," he said. "We'll be in the kitchen or the library if you need anything."

"Thank you," Gabriel said formally. Sam wanted to scream in frustration but he resisted the urge, gave Gabriel a nod of acknowledgement and then turned on his heel and left. Cas gave Gabriel a look that spoke volumes.

"What?" the archangel said defensively.

"You seem very subdued," Cas said. "I know you're exhausted but you don't seem like yourself, I don't care what you say."

"I guess I'm not," Gabriel agreed. He paused and then his gaze hardened. "Castiel, why did you let Sam do this?"

"Because God commanded it," Cas said simply.

"Bullshit," Gabriel snapped. "You didn't get where you are today by being the good son. Not since you met Dean Winchester."

Cas gave a heavy sigh. "Because our Father brought you back for a reason and it has something to do with Sam. I don't know what his plan is-"

"When do we ever?" Gabriel interrupted.

"But whatever it is, it needs the two of you. Together."

Gabriel's face twisted in distaste for a moment. "We'll see," he said ominously and then flopped down face first onto the bed.

* * *

 

"Hey, Sam," Dean greeted his brother as he entered the kitchen. "How's Gabriel?"

"Awake," Sam said. "He's low on Grace right now." His gaze slipped to the floor. "I said he could stay until he was feeling better."

"Sure," Dean said easily and Sam's head came back up to stare at him. "Come on, Sam? You thought I would toss him out on his ear?"

"Well, yes, actually," Sam confessed. He'd been girding his loins for a big fight and his brother was OK with this?

"Look, he's not my favorite person ever, but he did stand up when we needed him too. We got him killed, Sam. Helping him get his mojo back seems like a small thing to ask."

Sam stared at Dean in astonishment. He felt a hand on his back and turned to see the smiling eyes of his mom.

"How are you doing?" she asked. "You look a little better. Dean, is there any bacon left over?"

"Yeah," Dean said. "Sam, you want me to make you something?"

Sam blinked and nodded. "Yeah, actually. I'm starving." He still couldn't get over how cool Dean was with everything. And what was with the domesticity? Dean had claimed to enjoy cooking before, but he didn't usually do it as often as this. Sam wondered what his brother was up to.

"So, has he said anything?" Dean asked as he cooked. His tone was casual but Sam wasn't fooled.

"Who, Gabriel?" he said airily. Like it wasn't important. Like his breath didn't catch at the mere mention of his name.

"No, Father Christmas! Of course, Gabriel," Dean snorted.

"He wasn't feeling very talkative," Sam deflected. He did not want to discuss this with Dean. Not now, at least, until he'd figured out what was going on inside his head.

"Then he's definitely not feeling well," Dean decided.

Sam gave a weak laugh. "True. Anyway, he's detached the telepathic link we had from the cocoon and I've set him up in Charlie's old room. I hope that's OK."

He saw the pain that rippled across Dean's face. "It's fine, Sammy."

"Something's troubling you," Mary said.

Sam blinked back the tears that pricked at the back of his eyes. "Yeah. It's hard to explain, especially because you never knew Gabriel before but he seems so different. More… angelic than before."

"And this is a problem because…" Mary prompted.

"I don't know," Sam admitted. "But he was very cautious around me. Almost… afraid. Which makes no sense, even as underpowered as he is right now, he could probably still kick my ass."

Mary nodded. "Did you like him, before?"

Sam went to deny it and then paused. "Not at first. In fact, I pretty much hated him up until Dean went to Hell." Dean placed a plate of eggs, bacon and country-fried potatoes in front of him and he smiled gratefully. "What he did to me at the Mystery Spot was unforgivable, and yet I sort of did forgive him because shockingly, it did kinda help. A bit."

"You've never told me that before," Dean remarked. He sipped at his coffee with an unusually contemplative look on his face.

"Anyway, that's why when we ran into him again, I wanted to see if he might be willing to help us. And then we found out who he really was. That was a shock!" Sam gave a soft chuckle. "I felt bad for him after that."

Dean raised his eyebrows at him. "You felt bad for him? Even after everything he put us through?"

"He didn't actually hurt us, did he? He could have. And some of it was kinda funny." Sam smiled to himself. "And you know, for all the parallels he drew between me and Lucifer, I thought I actually had a lot in common with him."

"Now that I get," Dean said, nodding. Mary looked between the two of them, her face thoughtful.

"By the time we met him at the Elysian Fields, he'd clearly decided he was going to try and help us from behind the scenes. You goaded him into meeting Lucifer face to face and I didn't do anything to stop him. So he died, saving our lives." Sam blinked back tears. "We didn't dare go back there. We should have. He deserved better."

"We were kinda busy," Dean defended.

"I know. And if he hadn't been brought back, I probably wouldn't have thought about it again." Sam thrust his hands into his hair and Mary watched him with sympathetic concern. "But I guess I didn't really answer your question. The truth is, yeah, despite everything I guess I did like him."

Dean laughed, much to Sam's surprise. "Yeah, I figured."

"You did?"

"Of course," his brother said easily. "It was written all over your face, even when you were mad at him in TV land."

"So what's upsetting you now is, he doesn't seem like the person he used to be," Mary said.

"No," Sam said, shaking his head. "Resurrection's gotta be a big deal. I can't expect him to just magically be the same old Gabriel. No, it's more that I don't think he trusts me."

"And you think he trusted you before?"

"Yes. No. I don't know. I'm not making any sense. I'm sorry." Sam said.

"Give it time," Mary advised. "He's probably just adjusting, that's all."

* * *

 

After Cas had left Gabriel to sleep, he'd tossed and turned for a while before giving up. Too many things were swirling around his head, not least of which the look on Sam's face when he'd left him to sleep in this room. He was feeling guilty, he realized, and nothing made him grumpier than that. Sighing, he got out of bed and went over to the closet. As Sam had mentioned, there were sweatpants and a few other items of clothing. He grabbed a pair of pants and slipped them on and then headed out the door.

His celestial hearing picked up the sound of conversation and he walked in that direction until Sam's voice could be heard clearly. He stopped when he heard his name and then he heard a woman ask if Sam had liked Gabriel before. Eavesdroppers never hear anything good about themselves, he reminded himself but he couldn't resist listening in anyway. Sam started giving this unknown woman a quick overview of their previous interactions. He wondered vaguely who she was. Had Sam or Dean shacked up with someone, maybe another hunter? He hated himself for hoping it was Dean.

When Sam had finished his whistlestop tour of their history, Gabriel had to bite his lip as the hunter spoke mournfully of Gabriel's behavior towards him since he'd woken up. Guilt gnawed at him and his mood soured further. Why was it his job to keep the stupid kid happy anyway?

"It's a very nice corridor, brother," Cas said behind him. "And the acoustics are excellent."

Gabriel almost expired on the spot. "I was just taking a breather," he lied. "I'm still quite weak."

"Of course," Cas said. "The fact you can hear the conversation in the kitchen is mere coincidence."

"You've spent too much time with the Winchesters," Gabriel spat. "You never used to be this sarcastic."

"I'm angry with you," Cas said. "Sarcasm is a displacement activity."

Gabriel blinked. "A what now?"

"It means, I am using sarcasm rather than punch you in the face," Cas told him, his face hard.

"Nice," Gabriel said. "I've been back less than 24 hours and you already wish I'd never returned."

"I didn't say that," Cas said, his tone milder this time. "But Sam went through a lot and the least you could do is be grateful."

Gabriel leaned back against the wall and sighed. "I am grateful. But I'm also confused and…" he looked around. "I'm not used to feeling afraid."

"Afraid!" Cas exclaimed.

"Keep your voice down!" Gabriel snapped.

"Sorry," Cas said, lowering his voice. "But I don't understand. I know your Grace is low, but that will return. And while you're waiting for that to happen, you literally couldn't be any safer. This bunker is impenetrable."

"I'm not afraid of being attacked, I'm afraid of what my Father is up to," Gabriel retorted. "Why has he brought me back? Why now? I hate being manipulated. And what is Sam's part in all of this? I hate seeing him being manipulated even more. That poor fucker has spent his entire life being tossed about as the plaything of one supernatural being or another. It's not fair. Why can't my Father just leave him in peace?"

Cas's face had gone from irritated to astonished. "What makes you think Sam is being manipulated?"

"You said it yourself, my Father clearly has some sort of plan for both of us. And if he needed to bring me back for some reason, well that's up to him. But why drag Sam into it? What is He trying to achieve?"

"You're overthinking it," Cas said. "You haven't heard the tale of what has happened since you died. How much did you get from Sam's memories before you decoupled the link?"

"Most of it, I think," Gabriel mused. "What's your point?"

"When we were trying to come up with a plan to defeat Amara, one of the options on the table was to bring in more firepower in the shape of another archangel to stand with Lucifer and our Father. Michael's out of the question, but you or Raphael could have been resurrected."

"Yes," Gabriel said. "Dad lied, said it was too complicated. I don't know why."

"I think he couldn't bring himself to kill her," Cas opined.

"You could be right," Gabriel agreed. 'What's your point?"

"There's no crisis now. Amara's no longer a threat. So why resurrect you now? I think Father wants the Winchesters to have some peace."

"Castiel, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard you say. How on earth does resurrecting me bring anyone peace?"

Cas shrugged, a knowing smile on his face. "Maybe you and Sam have some unfinished business. You helped him and his brother end the Apocalypse. Perhaps he'd like to thank you for that."

"He tossed himself into the Cage, based on my crazy idea. Nobody should be thanking me for that," Gabriel said icily.

"You feel responsible," Cas realized and Gabriel cursed.

"Yes, dammit. There's nobody on earth who deserved to go to Hell less than Sam Winchester."

"Nobody?" Cas said levelly, one eyebrow raised.

Gabriel glared at him but refused to back down. "That's right."

Cas smiled at him, clearly amused. "Why don't we get you something to eat?"

"I- what?"

"While your Grace is low, you'll need to eat and sleep and other human things. I think you might be hungry," the seraph explained.

"OK," Gabriel grumbled. "Lead the way."

* * *

 

Sam smiled at Cas as the angel entered the kitchen but his face fell when he saw Gabriel lurking behind him. He swallowed, unable to think of anything to say.

"Hey, Cas," Dean said expansively. "Gabriel, feeling better?"

"Not really," the archangel said quietly.

"I think Gabriel needs some food," Cas announced. "With his Grace so low, he'll need sustenance."

"Of course," Mary said. She stood and crossed over, offering her hand to Gabriel. "I'm Mary Winchester."

Gabriel blinked and stepped back. "Sam and Dean's mother?"

"The very same. Amara brought me back from the dead, as a sort of gift to my boys."

"Wow," the archangel said stupidly.

"I think that's my line," she said with a twinkle. "I mean, archangel and all, right?"

Gabriel grinned at her. "Right. So we're resurrection buddies then?"

Mary laughed. "I guess we are."

Sam watched this exchange and the easy way his mom and the archangel conversed. His throat closed and he shoved back his chair.

"I gotta-" he garbled and rushed out of the room.

Dean stood up, his face worried. But when he moved to follow his brother, Mary caught his arm

and shook her head. "Don't go blundering in there. You'll only make it worse."

"You're probably right," Dean agreed sourly. "But-"

"No buts," Mary said firmly. She turned back to Gabriel and he gulped at the fiery look in her eyes. "You're hurting my boy," she said sternly. "You don't mean to, but intent is not magic. Fix it."

"I don't even know what I'm doing wrong," Gabriel complained.

"Liar," Mary said. "Honestly, who knew angels were as fucked up as humans." Dean choked at his mother's casual use of profanity. "You'll never figure it out unless you communicate."

"I'll make you something to eat," Dean promised as a way of cutting the tension in the room. "Come back in half an hour."

"All right," Gabriel grumbled and left in pursuit of Sam.

* * *

 

The hunter wasn't in his room, so Gabriel had to go searching for him. He eventually found him in the library, sullenly working on his computer.

"Sam?"

The hunter looked up warily. "Hey, Gabriel. Uh, do you need something?"

"I owe you an apology," Gabriel said. "I'm sorry, Sam. Coming back, like this, has been confusing and difficult. But that's no excuse for how rude I was."

"It's OK," Sam said with a wave of his hand. "I understand."

"Do you?" Gabriel said, edging closer. "I wish I did. Sam, why am I here?"

"Chuck-"

"No, I mean, Dad must have had a reason to bring me back. Not even Amara was enough to convince him to do that, so what changed?"

"I don't know." Sam said tiredly. "I've been trying to figure that out myself."

"We might be able to figure it out better if we put our heads together," Gabriel said. Sam blinked at him. "I'd like us to be friends, Sam. I think you were right, we could have been friends before, if I hadn't upped and died on you."

"I got you killed," Sam said, his voice catching and Gabriel's throat ached. "You must hate me."

"No, Sam," he denied. "I got me killed. Or blame Lucifer if you prefer. But my death was not on you. And I could never, ever hate you."

"Then why are you angry with me?" Sam asked.

"You think I'm mad? No, I'm not mad. I'm… You remember how you felt when Death reunited you with your soul? It's not dissimilar to that." Gabriel tentatively stepped closer and laid a hand on Sam's shoulder. Sam looked at it, eyes wide and vulnerable.

"Dean's making me breakfast," the archangel said. "Wanna come watch me eat?"

Sam nodded eagerly and then flushed. Gabriel smiled at him warmly.

* * *

 

When they reentered the kitchen, Dean was serving bacon onto a plate. "Good," he said without looking up. "Perfect timing."

"Where's Mom?" Sam asked.

"Her and Cas have gone grocery shopping," Dean said. Sam gave him a puzzled look. "I think she wanted to talk with him alone." He pushed the plate at Gabriel and then turned away to ditch the pan in the sink. Gabriel fell on the food like a starving wolf.

"I guess you were hungry," Dean said when he'd finished. "You need anything else?"

"No," Gabriel said. "Thanks."

"No problem," Dean replied. "OK, I gotta go take a look at Baby. She was running a little rough, I think the timing's off." He nodded to Sam and Gabriel, then ambled off.

"Leaving us to clean up," Sam said ruefully. Gabriel lifted his hand to click the mess away and Sam grabbed it before he could complete the action. Gabriel just stared at the large hand covering his, the warmth of Sam's skin making him oddly breathless.

"What are you doing," he croaked. Sam gave him a lopsided smile and shook his head.

"Don't waste your Grace on that," Sam admonished. He seemed to belatedly realize that he might have overstepped the mark and snatched his hand back with a gasp. Gabriel's hand shot out and grabbed his wrist before it withdrew.

"Sam…" The archangel seemed at a loss. "Sam, what's happening here?"

"I don't know what you mean," Sam said huskily.

"Ever since I woke up, I've felt like there was something different about how you feel about me," Gabriel said, wondering why he couldn't just keep his big mouth shut.

"Different how?" Sam said unsteadily.

"You used to hate me, and with good reason. I did terrible things to you. To both of you. And now Dean's cooking me breakfast and you're being nice and I don't know what to make of it all."

"I didn't hate you. Not once I realized what you were trying to do at the Mystery Spot." Sam told him. "Dean forgave you when you stepped up to the plate."

"And you're sure that's all it is?"

"What else would it be?" Sam asked, his stomach clenching.

"I'm not sure," Gabriel confessed. "Dad messing around, maybe? It wouldn't be the first time."

"Let's say you're right," Sam said. "What would be the purpose of tinkering with our emotions like that?"

"That's the part I can't figure out," Gabriel sighed. He realized he was still holding on to Sam's wrist and reluctantly let go.

Sam stared at him, slowly scanning the archangel's features. He tried to think rationally and dispassionately about his feelings towards Gabriel.

"If it is God screwing with us, it's subtle and not recent," he decided. "I'd already started liking you in TV land, despite how annoying it was and despite the fact you turned me into a car. I don't know what would have happened if you'd survived the fight with Lucifer, but I'd like to think we'd have become friendlier. So why don't we forget about Chuck and his games and be friends if we want to be?"

"Maybe you're right," Gabriel agreed. "But would you permit me to check one thing first?"

"That depends on what you're going to do," Sam said cautiously.

"Let me see your memories," Gabriel said. "Just the ones related to the times we met. I promise not to go rummaging around in there."

"Fine," Sam agreed. Gabriel scrambled into his lap and he jerked back in shock. "What are you doing?"

"Relax," Gabriel instructed. "This works better if we're close together. Don't get any silly ideas." He places his hands on Sam's face and stared directly into his eyes. He didn't fail to notice how Sam's pupils blew wide and his breathing stuttered. Dammit, this was exactly what he was afraid of. "Just let yourself drift. Think about the first time we met." Gabriel extended a tiny sliver of what little Grace he had and he was appalled when Sam slipped straight into a highly suggestible, trance-like state."

"Hell," he swore. "Sam, can you hear me?"

"Sure," Sam slurred.

"Tell me about how we met."

Sam's brow creased in thought. "You were posing as a janitor. I… I… I…"

"What's wrong?" Gabriel pressed.

"I am," Sam said. "Bad thoughts. Shouldn't think the bad thoughts."

"You're perfectly safe. What are the bad thoughts?"

"You," Sam managed, breathing heavily. "Mustn't, mustn't, mustn't." He was white now, and shaking. There was no way Gabriel could read his mind in this condition.

"OK, Sam, let's come back to the present. Come back to me."

"What the Hell are you doing to my brother?" Dean barked from the doorway.

"Boy, do you have sucky timing, " Gabriel grumbled. "I wanted to check something in Sam's memories. He agreed to letting me read his mind. But when I tried to push him into a light hypnotic state, he tripped headlong into a full-on trance."

"And that's why you're using him like a climbing frame?" Dean said skeptically.

"It's helpful to the hypnosis," Gabriel explained. "Now, can we skip the rest of the argument and deal with the fact that I can't pull Sam out?"

"What?"

"He's stuck inside his head," Gabriel said. "I need Castiel."

"He just got back, I'll go get him. But this is not over." Dean dashed out of the room.

"Hold on, Sammy," Gabriel whispered, leaning his forehead on the hunter's. "I swear I'll fix this. Just hold on."

* * *

 

Mary was just pulling the last few bags from the back of Cas's truck when Dean skidded into the garage, breathlessly calling for Cas.

"Dean, slow down, " the angel said, grabbing the hunter by the shoulders. "Breathe. Now, tell me what's going on."

"It's Sam," Dean said. "Gabriel's done something to Sam."

"What do you mean, done something?" Mary said sharply.

"I don't know, he was trying to read his mind or hypnotize him or--"

"Where are they?" Cas asked crisply.

"The kitchen," Dean gasped.

The angel disappeared so quickly down the hall it was almost like he had his wings back. Dean and Mary followed in hot pursuit.

When they reached the kitchen, Cas had already started interrogating Gabriel.

"And there was no warning?"

"None," Gabriel responded. "Castiel, I didn't do this. This is something much older."

"A geas? Who could have placed such a thing and why?"

"Cas, what's going on? " Dean demanded.

"We're not completely sure, but it seems like Sam was put under some kind of magical compulsion, long ago. Gabriel accidentally triggered it, but unless we figure out who did it and what they were trying to achieve, it's going to be very difficult to fix."

"What were you doing when it triggered?" Mary asked Gabriel.

The archangel sighed heavily. "I'm not sure you're going to like this, but I thought there was something strange about how both your boys are reacting to my return. I was attempting to get a better handle on Sam's feelings about me by digging into his memories of our first meeting when everything went sideways."

"Gabriel, what exactly did you ask Sam?" Dean said.

"It was a totally innocuous question," Gabriel said defensively. "All I said was, tell me about how we first met."

Dean frowned. Gabriel was wrong even if he didn't know it, that was not an innocent question. "And what did he say?"

"Almost nothing. He remembered that I was posing as a janitor and then he went into this weird feedback loop."

Dean looked grim. "And you think it's a geas?" he asked Cas, who nodded. "Makes sense."

"How?" Mary asked. "How does any of this make sense?"

Dean appeared to be wishing himself far away. "I think this is Dad," he said finally.

"John? You think John put a spell on Sam. Why?"

"Dad wasn't the most liberal guy," Dean said apologetically. "He was very quick to shut down anything he saw as… uh… unmasculine from either of us. I learned to make sure that's all he saw from a young age. But Sam was always the sensitive one. And then there was the Little Rock incident."

"What was the Little Rock incident?" Mary prompted when Dean didn't seem to want to continue.

"Sam was fifteen, I think. We'd gone to Little Rock for a good old salt and burn ghost hunt. While we were there, we ran into Jim Weaver and his son Devon."

"Jim had a kid?" Mary interrupted.

"Yeah, crazy huh? Devon was stunning, just a really good-looking kid. Big soulful brown eyes, a mass of blond hair and a smile that really drew you in. Sam was… I guess you'd call it a crush. Dad was having none of it. Next thing I know, he drags us off to Oklahoma City, we didn't even finish the hunt. We stayed there for two whole months. Sam attended a local high school and then just as mysteriously, we left without warning. I never knew the truth until after Dad died. He was taking Sam out of school to see this witch. It's all in his journal. He describes it as ridding Sam of a curse, but I swear Sam was never cursed."

Mary's eyes widened and she flipped open John's journal that she carried everywhere with her these days. After a few minutes, she nodded. "Found it. Caddo Indian curse according to John. He says he noticed Sam behaving strangely, he was off his food, very irritable, easily distracted. And then during the hunt, he made a mistake. He says you got hurt, Dean and it was Sam's fault."

"Dad was wrong," Dean said firmly. "The ghost was a mean son-of-a-bitch. He threw a bookcase at Sam, who dodged out of the way, but it clipped me on the shoulder and broke my collarbone.

I never blamed Sam for that, it was just bad luck."

"It seems rather thin," Mary said softly.

"As evidence for a curse, you bet it was thin," Dean agreed angrily. "It's been a long time since I read that entry. Does it say where the Hell did he got the idea it was a Caddo Indian curse?"

"Jim," Mary said as she scanned the journal. "The curse makes the victim forget who they are,

either literally or figuratively. That was Jim's interpretation of the behavior of both boys."

Dean shook his head in frustration. "Bullshit."

"I'm just telling you what he wrote, Dean," Mary said sadly. "I had no idea John was so… narrow-minded."

"It was a different time," Gabriel said gently. "And he was ex-military. It doesn't matter right now. What matters is finding a way to lever Sam out of this trance. Cas, you and Sam are pretty close, right? Is there something you can do?"

"Perhaps," the seraph said. "Sam trusts me." Gabriel clambered down from Sam's lap and Cas knelt on the floor in front of the young hunter, staring directly into his eyes.

"Sam," the angel rumbled. "It's Cas. Can you hear me?"

Sam's face, which had been crumpled and anxious, smoothed out. "Hey, Cas."

"What's going on, Sam?"

"I'm not sure," Sam replied. "I was… sleeping? And then, oh… oh… oh…"

"Sam?"

"Bad thoughts! Bad thoughts! No, no, no, no, no." Sam was shaking again and Cas grabbed his arm.

"Sam!" the angel barked.

"Cas," Sam wept. "Help me, Cas. I can't, I can't stop."

"Just listen to me," Cas said. He extended a tendril of Grace as he spoke. "Focus on my voice.

You're safe. You're at home. Your mom is here. So is Dean."

"Mom?" Sam said brokenly. "Mom's here?"

"She's here," Cas confirmed. "Just concentrate on that. Come back to us. Mary wants to speak to you." The angel looked up and Mary stepped closer.

"Sammy," she said into her younger son's ear. "Come back to me, Sam."

"Mom!" Sam said and then his eyes rolled up in his head and he slumped forward. Cas caught him and lifted him easily.

"I'm taking him to his room," Cas said and strode out of the kitchen.

* * *

 

"So what's the verdict," Gabriel said as Cas laid Sam on his bed.

"I think the diagnosis of a geas is correct. We can remove it of course, but from what I can tell the witch who laid it was quite skilled. He or she formed layers of compulsion, and we will have to remove it piece by piece. If we try to rip it out all at once, the shock could kill him."

"Ugh," Gabriel remarked. "Nasty work."

"Why?" Dean asked. "What's nasty about it?"

"Dean, the person who laid this geas did so by layering compulsions, certain attitudes and fears in a complex mix that will require unravelling. The effects on Sam will be unpleasant both for him and anyone else in earshot." Cas said. "It will not be easy and I am not confident of success."

"You won't be doing it, little brother," Gabriel stated. "I will."

"You? Why?" Dean said, his voice roughening.

"Simple," Gabriel said. "Firstly, hello, archangel! Even as low on Grace as I am, I still knock Castiel into a cocked hat." Cas looked pained but nodded. "And secondly, I broke it, so I have to fix it."

"You didn't break anything," Cas pointed out. "You didn't know this spell was there."

Gabriel sighed. "I've said since I awoke that I believed my father brought me back for a reason. He was specific about me being able to do something for Sam. I think this is it."

"He makes a good point," Mary said. "Castiel, is he telling the truth?"

"Yes," Cas said. "I can't be sure I can do this, it will stretch me to the limit of my abilities. Gabriel is much more skilled and powerful than I am at unravelling spellwork. Sam will be in good hands."

"Then I say we let Gabriel do it," Mary said. Dean glowered at her. "Dean, I'm his mother but I've never really been a parent to him. That was you. So, the final decision is yours, since Sam can't choose for himself."

Dean inhaled slowly and looked at Cas. "Can we have a word?" he asked. The seraph nodded and followed the hunter out of the room.

Once out in the corridor, Dean shocked the angel by grabbing him and hugging him tightly. Cas was disturbed by the shudders that wracked Dean's body.

"Dean?"

"Cas, I'm freaking out here man," Dean said into his ear. "What the Hell did Dad do to him? I had no idea he laid a geas on him."

Uncomfortable, Cas stroked the hunter's back awkwardly. "I swear, Dean. Gabriel will fix this."

"I wish it was you," Dean said.

"I know," the angel said. "But this really is better. There are potential side effects that Gabriel is much better able to handle than I."

Dean took a few more breaths and then lifted his head. "OK. OK. Let's do it your way."

When they returned to Sam's room, Dean was struck by the scene of Gabriel perched on Sam's bed, brushing back strands of Sam's hair from his face.

"OK," Dean said. "Gabriel, I'm trusting you with my brother here. I hope you know what that means."

Gabriel flashed him a smile. "Oh, believe me. I know."

"What do you need from us?" Mary asked.

"For now? Peace and quiet, and some water for Sam. And a towel and a bucket, in case he throws up."

"Is that likely?" Dean asked.

"It's not unknown." Gabriel held a hand out to Cas and the seraph grasped it. "Castiel, I'll need you here to monitor the process." Cas nodded.

"Then let's get out of your way," Mary decided. "Dean, we need to get those groceries put away."

* * *

 

As soon as Dean and Mary had left, Gabriel placed his hands on Sam's shoulders and began probing at his consciousness with a tendril of Grace. He quickly located the pulsing, malevolent mass of the geas and began to feel the shape of it. Castiel was right, this was impressive work, the layers complex and interwoven with skill. He poked and prodded at a few weaker looking spots. Vaguely at the edge of his awareness he heard Mary talking to Castiel. Probably providing the items he'd requested.

Finally, he decided on the best place to start and began to gently tug on one thread. It gave only token resistance before slivering free of the mass. Sam's body jerked and his eyes flew open.

"What the fuck are you doing?" he yelled.

"Sorry, Sam," Gabriel said. "You've been bespelled. I'm trying to remove it from your soul. It's gonna get rough, kid."

"Who... what… I don't understand," Sam huffed.

"Story for another time," Gabriel told him. "Just let Castiel and I work, OK? We'll explain everything once we're done."

"Fine," Sam grumbled. Gabriel tugged at the next strand and Sam began to struggle against the archangel's hold. "Let me go, dammit!"

"Sam," Gabriel soothed. "I can't but please, try not to fight me. It's only going to make this harder."

Sam stopped moving and Gabriel sighed in relief. He grabbed another thread and tugged. Sam reacted violently this time, arching upwards and to Gabriel's surprise, he managed to overpower the archangel and flip them over until Sam had him pinned to the bed. He was breathing hard and his eyes were wild.

"I'd say you need to stop doing that, right fucking now," Sam said. And then he seemed to realize what he'd done and his face flushed red. He climbed off the bed and snarled at Gabriel. "You keep your fucking hands off me."

"Sam," Cas said, making a quelling gesture. "We're trying to help you. Please stay calm."

"Fine, help me. But you don't need to be all over me like a fucking rash," Sam snapped. Cas met Gabriel's eyes.

"I told you it was complex," the angel said. "These aren't Sam's real feelings, it's coming from the geas."

Gabriel nodded in agreement. "But how the Hell did he get the drop on me?"

"You weren't treating him as a threat," Cas said. "He caught you off guard."

"I am right here," Sam said witheringly.

"Sorry," Gabriel said ruefully. "Come on, sit down. We've got a long way to go."

Sam glared at him and sat on the bed as far away from Gabriel as he could manage. The archangel shuffled closer and Sam stood up.

"I told you to keep your distance," he snapped.

"Sam, I can't do this without physical contact," Gabriel said patiently. He knew this was the spell talking, not Sam, but it was hard to hear these words coming out of Sam's mouth.

"Ugh, fine. But no more than is necessary, OK? I'm not some fucking faggot."

Gabriel breathed in and out, trying to rein in his temper. He heard Castiel make a distressed sound. Then he grabbed Sam's hands and shoved his Grace forward a little harder than strictly needed. Sam flinched but said nothing. The archangel pulled away all of the remaining loose strands and he felt Castiel move closer.

"Nice job, brother," the seraph said. "That's at least half of the compulsions."

Sam snatched his hands away and stood up, raking his hands through his hair. "I need a break," he said.

"Of course," Gabriel said. "Have some water and take a few moments." Sam took the glass of water on the nightstand and chugged half of it down. He paced up and down and Gabriel watched him carefully. After several minutes of drinking and walking, he sat down again.

"All right, let's do this," he said.

Gabriel shuffled closer and took Sam's face in his hands. The hunter rebelled and tried to back away but Gabriel was ready for him and held the hunter in an iron grip.

"You don't need to hold my goddamn face," Sam snarled. 'Get your fucking hands off me. What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Actually, I do," Gabriel corrected him mildly. "So suck it up, buttercup." He prodded and poked at several areas of the spellwork before deciding on a ribbon of something that writhed under his touch. Quick as a flash he grabbed it and yanked it out. Sam howled and tried to wrestle himself free.

"Get off, get off you fucking faggot. Let me go!" Cas stepped up behind him and wrapped his arms around Sam's shoulders, reducing his range of movement to almost nothing. "What, now you're in on this perversion too!" Sam yelped, rage distorting his features to a disturbing degree.

"Calm down," Gabriel commanded, letting a little of his True Voice bleed in. Sam blinked and stilled.

"Gabriel," Cas huffed. "Keep going."

The archangel reached further inside Sam, pulling carefully at each woven strand of magic and watching Sam's reactions. Occasionally Sam would start fighting back again, swearing and shouting invectives. It went on for hours. Finally, they had only one piece left to remove, but it was the most tightly woven compulsion.

"This last strand is going to be very difficult to remove." Gabriel said, exhaustion beating at him. Cas nodded gravely at him, his face tired but determined. Gabriel took a few deep breaths and plunged in. Sam bucked and fought against him until Gabriel had to force him down onto the bed and straddle him.

"NO!" Sam yelled. "NO, NO, NO!"

"Sam," Gabriel said tiredly. "Please. We're almost done."

"But the bad thoughts," Sam sobbed. "They'll come back."

"It's possible," Gabriel admitted. "What are the bad thoughts?"

Sam just began shouting incoherently and Gabriel was forced to cover his mouth.

"What's wrong?" Cas asked.

"Sam's fighting me so hard, I'm worried about ripping out a piece of his soul." Gabriel told his brother.

"Then you need a distraction," Cas suggested. "Short circuit his brain for a moment."

Gabriel stared at him. "You're a genius, Castiel." He removed his hand from Sam's mouth and before he could consider the consequences of his actions, crushed his mouth to Sam's in a desperate, almost punishing kiss. Sam froze, and Gabriel wondered if he'd misunderstood what was going on, but before he could retreat Sam suddenly yielded to him and opened his mouth.

Desire swept through Gabriel and he groaned involuntarily, forgetting where he was, what he was doing and the fact that he had an audience.

"I think that worked," Cas said dryly.

Gabriel drew back reluctantly and got to work, carefully unwrapping the last of the accursed spell from Sam's soul. At last, it was done and he rested his forehead against Sam's.

"That was impressive," Cas remarked.

"Thanks," Gabriel said unsteadily.

"No, the spellwork," Cas said. "To be even a slight challenge to an archangel is incredible."

"My Grace is close to nothing," Gabriel pointed out.

"Would more Grace have helped?" Cas asked in a way that suggested he was making a point.

"No," Gabriel confessed.

Sam's eyelids flickered and Gabriel lifted his head. "Hey, Sammy," he said softly.

"Hey," Sam replied. "I uh… I'm sorry about fighting you when you were trying to help me. And the things I said."

"It's not your fault," Gabriel told him. "The geas was designed to protect itself from being removed."

"OK, but I'm still sorry," Sam said. "Uh, could I get up now?"

Gabriel stared stupidly at him for a moment and then climbed off. Sam gave him a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

Dean appeared behind Cas and raised his eyebrows. "We good?" he asked.

"Seems to be," Sam said, looking embarrassed.

Dean clapped Gabriel heartily on the back with a grin. "Thanks, man."

"Dean, we need to talk," Cas said and Dean nodded agreeably. They left the room, leaving Sam and Gabriel alone. They stared at each other in uncomfortable silence. Eventually Gabriel decided that he'd have to be the one to speak.

"I gotta say, I'm beat," he said mock-jovially. "I need to go get some sleep after that little performance."

Sam looked at him. "I don't know what to say," he said. "I… You... " He shook his head. "Were you…" He broke off again, his cheeks coloring. "Never mind. Go get some rest."

"Are you feeling OK?" Gabriel asked.

"Not really," Sam admitted.

"Do you want me to stay?" Gabriel said. Sam shook his head.

"No, it's OK. You said you needed rest. I can't…" He looked away.

"Sam" Gabriel said, reaching out and touching Sam's face. "I don't mind."

Sam swallowed and swayed slightly. "You could sleep here. With me. I mean, not sleep with me just uh…"

"Just sleep," Gabriel said. "Yeah, OK. I'm too tired to walk down the hall anyway."

"It's not… I mean I don't…"

"Don't overthink it," Gabriel advised. "Let's just get forty winks and worry about everything else later."

Sounds like a plan," Sam agreed. He gave Gabriel such a sweet smile the archangel felt his Grace flutter. Sam flopped down onto the bed and Gabriel lay down next to him, being careful not to touch the young hunter. Sam grunted and then put one arm around Gabriel's stomach and pulled him in close until they were spooned up together.

"What are you doing, Sam?" Gabriel asked.

"Sleeping," Sam replied.

* * *

 

"Is Sam OK?" Dean asked as soon as they were out of earshot. Cas gave him a considering glance.

"The spell was very nasty and really skillfully created. But that's not what I wanted to talk to you about."

"OK," Dean said. "What is it?"

"I'm confused," the angel admitted. "When Gabriel was unwinding the spell, Sam got quite agitated and used some very… unpleasant language. It was not the sort of language I expected to hear from him, and I admit to being a little shocked."

"What sort of language," Dean asked. "Sam can swear up a storm when he's pissed."

Cas waved a hand. "No, that's not what I mean. I'm talking about homophobic language. Not even you would talk like that."

"Not even me?" Dean said dangerously. "What are you saying, Cas?"

"I am not making myself very clear," the angel said in distress. "But Sam is educated and not, as far as I am aware, homophobic."

"Neither am I," Dean said icily.

"No, no, of course not but... " Cas looked so uncomfortable that under different circumstances Dean might have laughed. But this wasn't funny.

"But what?" he said shortly. "But you think that's how I think but I hide it well? You think I'm walking around carrying all these prejudices against gay people? Well, I don't. I don't fucking care how people get their jollies as long as everyone's on board with it and everyone's a fully-functioning adult."

"I'm sorry," Cas apologized, his head drooping. "I made an assumption…"

"Based on what?" Dean yelled. "When have you ever seen me harass anyone for their sexuality? Except for ribbing Sam, which he knows is not serious?"

"I didn't know it wasn't serious," Cas said in a low voice.

"Come on, man," Dean said irritably. "Surely you know me better than that by now. Not to mention the fact I'd be a giant hypocrite!"

Cas went utterly still and Dean realized he might have said more than he meant to. "Why would you be a hypocrite, Dean?" he asked, his face puzzled. Dean waited for the penny to drop. It didn't. "Dean?"

"Why do you think?" Dean snapped. "Not every sexual encounter I've had has been with a woman, OK? I keep it on the downlow, because when Dad was alive I had to and now it's just a habit."

"You… I see," Cas said, his face blanking. "Does Sam know?"

"Not as far as I know," Dean said. "Until just now, nobody knew. So let's just keep this between the two of us, yeah?"

"Of course," Cas said immediately. Some emotion Dean couldn't identify flickered across the angel's face. "I'm sorry. This conversation is not going the way I expected. The point I was trying to make is, I don't understand how this spell managed to impose these attitudes on Sam but he never expressed them outwardly."

"Internalization's a bitch," Dean said. Cas blinked. "Look, this happened when Sam was fifteen. And then he grew up and went to college and you know, college is a liberating place. So any hang-ups he might have had, he may have only imposed on himself."

"I suppose that makes sense," Cas said dubiously.

"So, what happens now?" Dean asked. "Is Sam totally free and clear?"

"Yes," Cas said. Another look flickered across his face but Dean caught it before it disappeared.

"So what are you still worried about?"

The angel fidgeted uncomfortably. "Gabriel."

Dean raised an eyebrow at him. "What about Gabriel?"

"He... likes Sam," Cas said lamely.

Dean's eyebrows just about vanished into his hairline. "He's an angel," he objected.

"I don't see what that has to do with anything," Cas said, looking perplexed.

"Well, I mean, you don't uh… Except when you were mortal, I guess. But just that one time." Dean's eyes widened. "Or am I totally off base here?"

"No, you are correct," the angel said, unoffended. "I don't indulge in casual sex with strangers. That is because I do not want to. Not because I could not, if I chose."

"I… uh… OK. Yeah. Right." Dean said incoherently, his brain completely short-circuiting. "Good."

Cas blinked and peered at him. "It is?"

"It is what?"

"You said it was good," the angel reminded him.

"I did? Oh, well, I uh… I guess it's none of my business really." Dean wished for the floor to open up and swallow him whole. He was to be disappointed. Cas was giving him a very strange look and it was doing all kinds of uncomfortable things to his insides. Suddenly, a stray synapse sparked on how they'd got here in the first place.

"So, wait a second, are you saying Gabriel is going to try and… uh… sleep with my brother?" he yelped.

"I can't imagine much sleeping will be involved," Cas said dryly.

"No, man, it's a euph-" Dean caught Cas's eye and then punched him in the shoulder. "Dammit, Cas. When did you get all nudge-nudge wink-wink?"

The angel shrugged offhandedly. "Sharing headspace with Lucifer for months has left me with an appreciation of drier forms of wit."

"Run that past me again?"

"Lucifer likes sarcasm and irony. He is amused by the drier side of humor. After spending time with him, I came to see his point." Cas explained.

"Awesome," Dean said sarcastically. Cas grinned in delight, which was of course what Dean was aiming for. "So, to recap, your brother is going to seduce mine. Is that what you're telling me?"

"It's possible. It depends on Sam of course but, I believe there is a mutual attraction there." Cas looked slightly pained.

Dean wondered suddenly if the angel had feelings for Sam himself. His whole world tilted and he tried not to think about how that made his throat hurt. "Cas, uh, are you… jealous of Gabriel?"

"Jealous?" the angel said sharply, his gaze boring into Dean. "No. Why would I be jealous? Envious, perhaps."

"What's the difference?" Dean said unsteadily.

"Jealousy would imply I had some feelings for Sam myself and that Gabriel was getting something I wanted," Cas said, his eyes intently focused on Dean. "Envy is no more admirable than jealousy, but in this case less destructive. I am envious that Gabriel and Sam may find happiness together."

Dean felt dizzy. "Cas, are you telling me you're lonely?"

"No," the angel said mildly. "It's not important."

"Of course it's important," Dean said. "I want you to be happy, man."

"Happy?" Cas said, and now he sounded bitter. "Dean, I'm not a person. Being an angel means being a tool, a weapon, an object of some use. People get to be happy, not things."

Dean gaped at him in horror. "Of course you're a goddamn person! What the fuck, Cas? Hasn't anything I've said to you made it through that thick angel skull of yours? You're family, as much as Sam, as much as Mom and Dad. I… Why would you think like that?" The distress in the hunter's voice was so strong it made Cas want to weep.

"I didn't mean to make you angry," he said quietly. "I just don't think in those terms about myself."

"Well, you should," Dean growled. "You should think about what makes you happy. God knows there's not much in our lives to make anyone happy but you've got to take it when you can find it."

"So, you're not upset about Gabriel and Sam?" Cas pressed.

"What? No! Not if it makes Sam happy. I mean, I think it's nuts, OK? But it's not up to me."

Cas beamed at him and Dean couldn't help but smile back. "I'm glad."

* * *

 

Sam was awoken by Dean knocking on his door. He rubbed at his eyes, feeling disoriented. Then he realized why - at some point while he'd slept, Gabriel had gotten up and left the room. He squashed down the feeling of dismay and shuffled over to the door, opening it a crack.

"Hey, Dean, what's up?"

"Sam, I'm sorry, I didn't know you were still asleep," Dean apologized. "Is Gabriel in there with you?"

Sam narrowed his eyes at his brother. What did Dean know about the geas and what had come after? Which was nothing, really. They'd slept, nothing more. Except there was that kiss. But Dean didn't look angry or upset or anything like that. So he probably didn't know about that. He realized he had stood there for several seconds without saying anything. "No. I don't know where he is." His brother looked vaguely disappointed and Sam gave him a look of confused surprise.

"Well, anyway, Mom and I were talking about dinner and she wants pizza. That good for you?"

Sam raked a hand through his hair. "Yeah, sure. Lemme take a shower and I'll be up in a few."

Dean nodded and strode off down the hall.

Sam showered and dressed as quickly as he could before heading down to Charlie's old room. Maybe he'd find Gabriel in there? But there was no sign of the archangel. He swallowed past a lump in his throat and turned around to go find Dean.

* * *

 

In the kitchen, Dean and his mom were in what seemed like a very serious discussion.

"Everything OK?"

"Yes," Mary said. She eyed him up and down. "How are you feeling?"

"OK," Sam said. "A bit weird. What's going on with you guys?"

"We are debating the relative merits of pepperoni versus sausage pizza," Mary said solemnly.

Sam laughed at the seriousness of her expression. "It's no laughing matter young man," she told him with a twinkle in her eye.

"Well, I'll leave you to your very important discussion," Sam said, amused.

"You don't have to leave," Mary said. She exchanged a look with Dean, who shrugged.

"I'm gonna go pick up pizza and beer." he said and left the kitchen.

"Sam, talk to me." Mary said.

He sprawled awkwardly in a chair and held her gaze. "Mom, I… this can't have been easy for you. Hearing about Dad and this spell."

"It wasn't," Mary admitted. "But if I've learned anything from your father's journal, it's that my death sent him more than a little crazy."

"I think that's true," Sam agreed. "Dean remembers how he was before, a little, but I was too young. So to me he was always this man who was obsessed with revenge and angry at the world."

Mary blinked back tears. "You've no idea how gentle he was when we met. Just a sweet, kind man. And I destroyed him."

"What? No you didn't," Sam denied. "How is this your fault?"

"Because I made that deal, Sam. I didn't know it but I bargained with all of your lives and you paid the price for it. You're still paying the price for it."

"Mom, that's not true." Sam said, wrapping his hands around hers.

"Isn't it? It's not like either of you are happy. Haven't you ever wanted to leave the life Sam, and settle down?"

"Of course," Sam said. "But the truth is, who would be safe with me? I'm still Lucifer's True Vessel. I'm still a demon-blood addicted freak, even if I have been clean for years. Who'd have me? Not even another hunter would take me on."

"That archangel seems to like you a lot," Mary said slyly.

"Are you insane?" Sam said, half-laughing. "Gabriel's not interested in me. He could have anyone, literally anyone."

"I don't know," Mary said with a smile. Sam waved her off. "And what about Dean?"

"He tried, you know, for a while, with a woman called Lisa. She had this really great kid, and for a while it looked like it might work out. But then, well I guess it didn't. That's partly my fault and partly Cas's fault. We pulled him back in."

"Castiel? Why am I not surprised?" Mary said, an ironic twist to her mouth.

"I don't know what you mean," Sam said.

"Seriously?" she said. "That angel is smitten, even if neither of you can see it, I have eyes."

"I think you're misreading the situation," Sam told her. "Cas is… Cas. His people skills are a little off and it gives the wrong impression sometimes."

Mary looked skeptical but she didn't press the matter. "So where is Gabriel anyway?"

"I don't know," Sam admitted.

"And that's why you look like someone killed your puppy."

"No! Maybe his Grace has returned. He doesn't owe me anything, why shouldn't he take off?"

"Because I needed to keep an eye on you, Sammy," Gabriel said from the door.

"Oh. Uh. Hi," Sam said stupidly. He felt breathless and almost giddy. Gabriel hadn't left after all.

"Where have you been?"

"I'm sorry, Sam. I couldn't sleep. There was something about that spell that reminded me of someone," Gabriel explained. "The work seemed familiar. So I went looking in the files here to see if there was anything that clicked."

"Did you find anything?"

"Nada. But there are a lot of files." Gabriel said.

"Well, I think I will go watch some TV," Mary announced. She walked up to Gabriel and hugged him, much to the archangel's surprise and discomfort. "Thank you for helping my boy," she said.

"Uh, you're welcome," Gabriel replied, nonplussed. He watched her leave. "Remarkable woman, your mother."

"Don't I know it," Sam said happily.

Gabriel was still standing in the doorway, his body radiating tension.

"Are you all right?" Sam asked.

Gabriel's mouth twisted. "We should talk."

"OK," Sam said, his mouth going dry. How much of the conversation had the archangel overheard? And then there was that kiss, while Gabriel was removing the last of the geas.

"You're free of that nasty spell and I think that's what Dad wanted me to do for you. I think you'll be happier now you're not fighting your inner nature any more. So, maybe it's time I moved on."

Sam stared at him in mute misery. So much for his mother's instincts. "Where will you go?"

"Here and there," Gabriel said vaguely. "We might see each other around, from time to time."

"Will I?" Sam asked. "Or are you just saying that to make me feel better?"

"We don't have to see each other again if you don't want," Gabriel said stiffly.

"No, dammit," Sam huffed. "I don't even want you to leave."

Gabriel's mouth fell open in astonishment. "You… don't?"

"No," Sam said, feeling like he was making a fool of himself. He shook his head and looked down at his hands. "Don't listen to me. I'm not trying to force you to stay if you want to go." He heard Gabriel move closer and he looked up.

"Sam…" Gabriel swallowed and try as he might, Sam couldn't help but watch the movement of his throat with something like hunger. "Sam, this all started when I was asking you about your memories of when we met."

"I remember," Sam said. "You weren't my first crush, but I'd never felt drawn to anyone so strongly as I did with you that day. Even Jess and I didn't have that kind of spark. And as soon as I felt it, I had no choice but to bury those feelings deep inside of me."

"That's what I thought," Gabriel said softly.

"Later, after Mystery Spot, I hated your damn guts but I hated myself too for being totally unwilling to just kill you. That pull, that attraction was still there, even if I buried it in anger and hate."

"I'm sorry about that, Sam," Gabriel said. "I hurt you and I justified it to myself that it was worth it."

"It doesn't matter," Sam said. "You were right. I just couldn't see it. So by the time we met up in TV land, I was a mess. You were so bright, so beautifully vibrant and I wanted you so badly. And that was fucked up on a number of levels. I should have hated you for what you'd put me through. I certainly shouldn't have been lusting over a monster and I definitely had no business thinking such thoughts about an archangel."

Gabriel was finding it rather hard to draw breath, which was odd, because it wasn't like he even needed to breathe. "And at the end?"

"I hated you again. I hated you for dying and leaving me alone here. I knew we'd never be together but still I hated you for robbing me of the dream."

Gabriel was now so close, he had only to reach out and touch Sam's face. "Sam…" he said reverently.

Sam jerked back and shoved his chair backwards, and Gabriel's face fell. "Gabriel, I… you can't."

"Why can't I?" the archangel said petulantly.

"Because I don't want to be the object of your pity," Sam said bitterly. "Nor should you feel obligated just because I've been crushing on you for years."

"Pity, is it?" Gabriel snapped. "Oh, sure. It was pity that made me track you muttonheads down and trap you in a pocket dimension to try and steer you away from the course that would lead to you springing dear old Luci from the Cage. It was pity, was it, that made me trap the two of you once again in TV land? And it was pity that made me stand up to my brother, when nobody in all of time and creation had ever been able to make me do anything? Are you really that blind?"

"Uh, what?" Sam said. Gabriel launched himself at Sam, toppling the chair to the floor and pinning Sam down with one hand. Sam's eyes were wide with shock, fear and to Gabriel's surprise, arousal.

"Oh, you like that, don't you?" he purred. Sam swallowed, and Gabriel could see the pulse in his neck. He was still angry but Sam's unexpected reaction was sapping that anger of its heat. Sam just stared up at him, his eyes riveted on Gabriel's mouth. "Oh fuck it," Gabriel said and swooped down to claim the hunter's mouth. Sam yielded instantly, letting Gabriel control the kiss and making soft needy sounds that shot straight to the archangel's groin.

"Perhaps you two need to find a more private venue?" Mary said tartly from behind them. Sam froze and Gabriel gave a short laugh before clicking his fingers and relocating them both to Sam's room.

"Oh God," Sam groaned, shame making his body flush. And that's when he noticed that Gabriel had also stripped them both naked as well.

"I think we've had enough parental intrusions into this tango," Gabriel said and brought his mouth down on Sam's once more.

* * *

 

Dean dumped the pizza boxes on the kitchen table and then began loading the fridge with beer.

"Where is everyone?" he wondered.

"Mary is in the library," Cas said behind him. "I am here. Sam and Gabriel are having sex in his room."

"TMI, dude," Dean said, grabbing a beer and twisting off the cap. "TMI." He turned around to find the angel much closer than he expected and he yelped in surprise. "Cas?"

"Dean," the angel rumbled. "It is all right for you. Your hearing is not sharp enough to hear what has been going on this past half hour. I, on the other hand, have exquisite hearing and I have had more TMI than you can possibly imagine."

"Oh," Dean said stupidly. This was weird. He had mostly cured Cas of the habit of standing way too close for comfort years ago. Why was he backsliding today? "Uh, that sucks."

"It does," Cas agreed, his eyes boring into Dean's. "I don't think you have any idea what it is like. It seems my brother and yours are very… creative in the bedroom."

"OK," Dean said nervously. "Uh… what do you want me to do about it?"

The angel's lips pursed and Dean had to look away. "I need to ask you a question."

"What?" Dean said, now utterly baffled. And unless he was mistaken, Cas was standing even closer now. What the Hell was going on?

"I had thought for years that the reason you and I have never had sex is because you were unable to see past the male vessel I inhabit," Cas said, almost angrily. Dean nearly swallowed his tongue. "But today you told me that not only is that not a barrier but that you have indulged in sexual relations with other men on multiple occasions, is that not correct?"

"Uh…"

"So tell me, Dean, if it is not my apparent gender and it is not that you see me as a thing instead of a person, what is it that prevents you from seeing me?"

"I… I don't know what you mean," Dean said breathlessly. "I see you."

"No, Dean, you do not. You see a friend, a useful ally, maybe even a brother. How do I get you to see me as a potential bedmate?" Cas growled.

Dean's head was spinning. "Bedmate?" he blurted. "Cas, are you propositioning me?"

"That depends," the angel said. "Is it working?"

"I… uh… maybe? Cas, I had no idea you were even interested in… that."

"And that's the only reason?" Cas asked insistently.

"Yeah," Dean said, giving up all hope of understanding what was going on. "Pretty much."

"Very well. I am going half-mad with thwarted lust and the sounds of very enthusiastic sexual relations between our brothers and I would like to take you to your room and perform sexual acts on you until you're screaming my name."

It was the hottest thing Dean had ever heard in his life. He opened his mouth to speak and Cas grabbed his shirt and yanked him forwards, crushing their mouths together in a wild, desperate kiss. Dean surrendered to his angel, groaning with desire as Cas plundered his mouth.

He pulled back for a moment and looked into Cas's eyes. "Do it," he breathed. "Make me scream."


End file.
